Living with anxiety

Knowing about anxiety can help you to help a friend in need


Mrs. Giancola

Senior Brittney Kromphardt explored her experiences with anxiety to write this college application essay.

Brittney Kromphardt, Guest Contributor

Have you ever felt the pain of a heartbreak by just hearing a name? The simplest of things can make you want to break down and cry.

Living with anxiety is not the easiest thing to do. It’s a challenge that I struggle with on an everyday basis, but most people don’t know that I have anxiety.

The mornings are a constant struggle between should I get out of bed and go through my day, or lay here and do nothing? The majority of the time no matter how badly I want to lay in bed I get up and go because I know that laying in bed will do nothing to help my anxiety. So I get up, I go, and I live my life, knowing that at any point, I could have an anxiety attack.     

One of these attacks was the worst. The only one for which I’ve ever needed an ambulance. It was my fourth day at work and the first time I worked a weekend by myself on register. We had a rush that was never ending, and I was finally sent on break. So the first thing I did was grab my phone and walk outside.

I was too worked up to eat or drink anything. I could feel the emotions swirling and building up inside; it felt like I was getting shoved into a box and everything started fading and I was in my own world. A tiny black world with literally nothing in it. Just me standing in a jet black room. The air thin as can be, making it hard to breathe. My legs, hands and arms going limp and stiff, unable to move. The only thing left to do is scream.

The emotions bottled up inside make me feel like a monster lurking through the night. My monsters are uncontrollable, coming out whenever and wherever they want to, not caring who’s around. They have a mind of their own.

Most people don’t understand that when they tell you to suck it up and deal with the emotions, that it’s not that simple. My family is guilty of doing that. They feel that I shouldn’t be as sensitive and caring as I am, but I can’t just bottle them up. Some people are good at hiding these emotions, but people with anxiety have the constant fear of not being good enough and when they get yelled at the fear becomes realization.

Anxiety isn’t just breakdowns and crying. There are many ways people express their anxiety, which include rocking back and forth, stuttering on words, biting their nails, hiding themselves where no one can find them and many more.

It is so important to learn the ways people with anxiety express themselves so when you see a friend in need who’s ready to have an anxiety attack, you can try and stop it before it happens.

Living with constant anxiety and constant fear isn’t okay. But yet here I am, just another average teenager, who if i hadn’t told you I had anxiety, you’d never know.